The Day Mini Took 4 Years Off of My Life

This blog post was written with for the sole purpose of teasing my friend, Mini (whose name has been changed to protect the guilty). It worked.  But do you know what she said after reading it????
I quote, "Wow! You really are melodramatic ;)"  The nerve!  (Only say it with a thick New York accent, "The noive."  


It's a bit long but I had revenge on my mind.  ;)
 
The names in this post have been changed to protect the guilty.

     A food co-op meets at my house once a month.  A big refrigerated 18 wheeler parks itself in front of my home.  My friends and fellow co-opers bring their strapping teenage boys to help unload all the loot.  (My daughter is sitting here saying,  "Mom, what about the girls?  You're leaving out the girls.  Well, here goes..) Meanwhile, the teenage young ladies stand  in a huddle chatting, laughing, sharing, and socializing. (Daughter, dear, this doesn't look to good, ya know.  Boys working-girls chatting.) Anyway,  as I was saying, food co-op- my house.  One of my co-op friends, whom I will refer to as Mini (I am changing her name because she is very, very guilty.) asked if I could hold her order for her because she would be out of town when it arrived.  I very kindly told her that I would be glad to.  Well, that's just a little lie.  I said I would if she didn't mind if I stored her order in my chicken coop. But I was just kidding.

   The night of the delivery came.  It had been an exhausting day. The truck came very late that night.  We were all very tired and, wouldn't you know it, it was probably one of the worst deliveries we've had.  Items were missing, fruit was squashed, and several other things happened that just made it a little chaotic.  I was SOOOO glad to fall into bed that night.

   I must admit, I stayed in bed a little later than usual the next morning.  When I did finally get up, as I was walking past my front living room window, it hit me.  Mini's order.  I forgot about Mini's order.  It sat out on the front lawn ALL night.  I decided to run out and bring it in - pajamas and all.  One glance out the window told me that there was nothing to bring in.  The lawn was bare, not a box to be seen.  The realization hit me,  I forgotten about Mini's order, left it outside, and it had most likely been stolen.  I felt so irresponsible.  I couldn't believe what I had done. Over one hundred dollars of goods was missing.  Would Mini still have to pay for it?  I had taken responsibility for it.  Would I have to pay for it?  Would the company eat the loses.  I dreaded telling Mini that I had messed up.  Maybe I should send out an e-mail to everyone in the co-op informing them that I will would be unable to hold anyone's order for them because I am to irresponsible of a person to be trusted. Then all my failings crept through my head one by one.  I sat down and confessed every sin and fault I could think of (maybe even some I had never committed).  At that moment I was extremely grateful that God loved sinners because I sure did feel like one.  I asked- make that "pleaded"- if He could somehow get me out of this mess.

   A good prayer can clear your mind and rays of hope started trickling in.  Maybe, just maybe, the driver had seen the boxes left out on the lawn and put them back in the truck.  Maybe somebody else accidentally took Mini's order home with them.  Had the strapping young men seen any boxes still sitting on the lawn when they left?  I started investigating.  I left a message on the driver's cell phone.  My neighbor, who had picked up an order, was working in his front yard.  I went over and had my first of what was to be many interrogations that day.

   Truthfully, I am getting tired of writing out all the details of this post.  I may be as tired of writing them as you are of reading them.  Let's get to the facts ASAP.
1. Driver had not taken the boxes but gave me a number to call a head honcho at the home office who could maybe help me out.
(I'm feeling like a doofus.)

2. Strapping young man #1 thought he had seen two, small boxes left on the lawn when he left.
(Maybe losing  two small boxes wasn't all that bad.  Wait, those small boxes cost over $100.  That's still bad.)

21/2. Called the friend whose order was next to Mini's.  Interrogated her thourgouly.  She saw nothing but felt very badly for me.
(Maybe people will still love me even though I'm a doofus.)

3.  Neighbor saw nothing when he came out front in the wee hours of the morning.
(Who would have been on our street after I went in late and the neighbor came out early?)

4. I decided to recheck my list.  Yes. Mini's name was on it.  That meant her order shipped.
(The order I had promised to take care of and didn't because I'm a doofus.)

5. Picked up the phone to call the head honcho.   What should I say?  "Hi, I lost a $100+ order.  Please don't make me pay for it."  Then she'll ask, "What was in the order?" Hmmm, maybe I better check that out before I actually call.

5. I decided to go online and see exactly what was in Mini's order. (As drop point manager, I can do that. Ohhh, the taste of power and nosiness.)  What??? 50 lbs of grain?  50 lbs of chicken feed?  I know that didn't come.  I would have seen it.

6. Called stapping young man #2 and asked if he actually saw any box with Mini's name on it when he was unloading.  He hadn't.   HE HADN'T?????  What????  Maybe I need to rethink this.....

7. I went back to Mini's order.  Something wasn't right.  Only part of her order could have been shipped.  Two 50 lb bags were missing, and at least one strapping young man hadn't unloaded any part of her order.  What could have been shipped in two small boxes?  I look at her order online. I look at her order very carefully.  This time I make sure to scroll ALL the way to the bottom of the order to catch every detail.  And then I see it.  PRESS SUBMIT TO COMPLETE YOUR ORDER.
(No way!  Was her order ever completed?  But she was on my list.)

8. Forget the head honcho -I just called customer service.  "Hello, may I help you?"    "Yes, you can keep me from having a heart attack."  I can feel the vibes coming through the phone.  Miss Customer Service thinks she is talking to a crazy lady.  I explained the situation briefly.  "Can you tell me if the order was ever completed and ever shipped?"  Her reply....... "The order was never completed and NEVER shipped."

    I had been chasing a phantom order.  A computer glitch put a name on my delivery list that should have never been there.  Did Mini decide not to order and neglect to tell me?  Does Mini realize she never completed her order?  One thing I know for sure!!!!!!  And I Facebooked this message to her. "Mini, you owe me.  You owe me BIG time.  You're taking me out to lunch, girl!"  But I never told Mini WHY she owed me.  She won't know until she reads this post. Where are you taking me to lunch, Mini?  I aged four years that morning and felt much guilt for something I never did.  It should be a very NICE lunch, don't you think? ;)