Oops!

Roses are red,

Violets are blue.

I didn't make a blog post today,

How about you?????


I'm supposed to be posting 5 times a week.

I'm behind.

Does this count as a post????

                                             Signed, Busy and as unorganized as ever,  Sam


P.S.  How come when my kids get behind in there homework, I lose my free time?  Nobody told me about this before I became a mother.  How come I still like those crazy kids of mine anyway?

Too Tired to Blog?

Well, since this is the fifth post I've put on my blog this week, I have met my goal of 5 posts in one week.  I guess there's a first time for everything.

Today was quite a day.  Because it has been a little stressful around here lately, I took my kids out to breakfast - on a school day no less.  We're home schooled so I can do that.  It is a rare and special treat. It went downhill after that.

My boy did a job on his ankle over a week ago and got a 3rd class sprain.  It is still quite swollen.  Looks gross too.  He was in pain today and didn't get much work done which means we will have to cram before his next class. Not fun. I am getting more exercise waiting on him though as he can do practically nothing. It's pretty tough doing  anything on crutches.

My girl who, who has been working hard and getting A's in biology, freaked over the one chapter of chemistry in her book.  An hour of much explanation later, she still wasn't getting it.  We both decided it was best to put it aside and go to plan B tomorrow.  It is my job to figure out what plan B is.

I solved all my problems and went and got my hair cut.  I'm sure you understand how that is related to all of the above.

Well, I thought I was too tired to blog but look how much I wrote.  The lesson I learned from this is that if you think you are too tired to blog - DON'T!  You'll just end up complaining.  Spare your poor readers and just go to bed.

At least I can learn from my mistakes.  Thanks for listening, Sam

Truth or Fiction

                                     

A small plane was flying over the Democratic Republic of the Congo. 

In the back of the plane was a large duffel bag.  The duffel bag contained........

 

 

...a very large crocodile

- which escaped. 

In their panic,  the 20 passengers fled to the front of the plane which was  getting ready to land.  This shift of weight to the front of the plane put the plane off balance and it crashed. 

There were only two survivors, one passenger and the crocodile.    

              

So, did I make this up or is it a true story?

It's TRUE!!!  I was listening to the news on the radio on the way to pick up my son. If I had read this in a book, I would have thought it was ridiculous.  Truth really IS stranger than fiction.

P.S. When rescuers got to the plane,they killed the crocodile with a machete.

Leave it to me to get you the REALLY important news of the day, Reporter Sam

Thanks to My Sister-in Law, My Hair is Purple.

I am usually a sedate, boring kind of person.  So how did I end up with purple hair?

It all started with my ornery brother-in-law, the very tall one. You need to know that because I am stuck with two of them and they are both extremely ornery.   The whole crew, in-laws, outlaws, and other varmints, were gathered at my mother-in-laws house for some to-do.  I was finding a place to sit to eat my yummy plate of food, minding my own business, when my brother-in-law makes a crack about my gray hair.  Being the confident person that I am, I just agreed with him and said I really needed to dye it again.  It really takes the steam out of a teaser if you just agree with them.  (That tactic is my new secret weapon. I do need to make mention of the fact, for my readers benefit, that premature gray runs in my mother's side of the family.  Please make note of the word - PREMATURE. Thank you.)  Well my brother-in laws wife, I won't mention any names (Renee), said, "Sam, why don't you go a little wild this time and go for something exotic....like red."  I agreed with her too.  It was just the easy thing to do.

Well, some time passes and I became even grayer. I figured I had better do something about that mop of mine.  I recalled what my SIL had said.  Maybe, just maybe I should take her advice.  Maybe housework and helping with homework would be a little more adventuresome if you had exotic red hair. 
I decided to merge my sedate side with my wild binge and go for a lighter red.

Why didn't any of the stores I visited have the color I wanted?  I decided to mix my own concoction and bought a bright red and a blond color to mix.  I checked the ingredients to make sure they wouldn't explode when mixed.  It looked good. So home I went to do my make-over.

Well, let's just say the results were not what I expected.  I was horrified.  How, oh. how did my hair end up this color?  How do red and blond make this... this... hue?   This was WAY too wild for my taste.  I reread the ingredient list.  The blond dye contained bluing.  You know what red and blue make don't you? PURPLE!!!!
So thanks to my SIL,who suggested I take a walk on the wild side, I have purple hair.

I try to think every decision through to its conclusion before I act on it.  This is the  scenario that went through my head when I considered my SIL's suggestion. Oh, the stories that go through my head sometimes! It's just the way I think.  (Scary, isn't it?)
                                                               Signed, Still Gray in Orange County

Guess Who Left a Comment on MY Blog???

                                       A VIP commented on my blog!


Miz Boo, herself, left a kind comment on my blog after I stole material from her.  She is a sweetie.  I feel...
I feel..... validated, acknowledged, and... and.... encouraged.  Thanks,  Miz Boo!

Miz Boo gave me some advice for blogging consistently.  It would be perfectly selfish of me to keep it to myself, so I have decided to share it with you.   :)

Hi Sam,

Thank you for leaving your link. Let me encourage you to write five days a week. Just do it :o) Even if it is a quote or a scripture or a picture with a funny story ....Lots of times you will have a comment about that quote or scripture and words will flow from that.

Look thru a stack of pictures and a funny memory will come to mind. I like those posts.

I see you are Linda's friend. She is lovely.


(Linda, you must be a VIP too!!! And just think, I know you in person.)

Wasn't that nice?  I am going to try to act on her good advice.  Let's see how many weeks in a row I can blog for 5 days.  Maybe I should just try for 5 days in one week first.  That might be a little more realistic. This is Day 2!  Here we gooooooo............ 
                                                                       See ya tomorrow (I hope),
                                                                                   Sam

So What's Keeping Me from Blogging?

What's keeping me from blogging?  ME, that's who!  I make everything too difficult.

I had to sit down and have a little talk with myself.

I need to be entertaining. (Just be yourself. Life is NOT always entertaining and you are sharing your life.)
I need to address multiple audiences. (You don't have ANY audiences.)
I need to write in an intelligent manner.  I must think carefully before I write. (Yea, good luck with that.)
I need to get someone to proofread my posts.  (It will never happen.)


"Sam," I said to myself, "you are making this way too hard.  You are not out to win any awards (You couldn't if you tried.).  You're just sharing your life with whomever wants to read about it.  Your only audience will be whoever likes what you write when you are being yourself.  The real question is, Would you still want to write if nobody read it?"



I had to think about this a minute but the answer is, "Yes, I know it's crazy but I just need to write.  I feel like those painters who just need to express themselves and paint.  (Actually, I have no idea how those painters feel because I can't draw a straight line.) I just want to write, so if I am enjoying it; that's good enough.  It's like knitting or any other hobby.  That's it.  It's a little hobby to amuse myself with even if nobody reads it."  (Sounds good, huh?  It's a lie.  I will cry if nobody ever, ever, in a million years reads it. Well, maybe.)

"Sam, my dear, you're weird."

"Weird can be wonderful."

 Here are some quotes about writing I stole from Miz Boo's blog. http://booshay.blogspot.com/
 
"People have writer's block not because they can't write, but because they despair of writing eloquently."
(Anna Quindlen)

"If I waited for perfection, I would never write a word."
(Margaret Atwood)

"Don't get it right, just get it written."
(James Thurber)


"Lower your standards and keep writing."
(William Stafford)

                      Signed, The poorly punctuated, imperfect, wannabe blogger,
                                                                 SAM

The Day Mini Took 4 Years Off of My Life

This blog post was written with for the sole purpose of teasing my friend, Mini (whose name has been changed to protect the guilty). It worked.  But do you know what she said after reading it????
I quote, "Wow! You really are melodramatic ;)"  The nerve!  (Only say it with a thick New York accent, "The noive."  


It's a bit long but I had revenge on my mind.  ;)
 
The names in this post have been changed to protect the guilty.

     A food co-op meets at my house once a month.  A big refrigerated 18 wheeler parks itself in front of my home.  My friends and fellow co-opers bring their strapping teenage boys to help unload all the loot.  (My daughter is sitting here saying,  "Mom, what about the girls?  You're leaving out the girls.  Well, here goes..) Meanwhile, the teenage young ladies stand  in a huddle chatting, laughing, sharing, and socializing. (Daughter, dear, this doesn't look to good, ya know.  Boys working-girls chatting.) Anyway,  as I was saying, food co-op- my house.  One of my co-op friends, whom I will refer to as Mini (I am changing her name because she is very, very guilty.) asked if I could hold her order for her because she would be out of town when it arrived.  I very kindly told her that I would be glad to.  Well, that's just a little lie.  I said I would if she didn't mind if I stored her order in my chicken coop. But I was just kidding.

   The night of the delivery came.  It had been an exhausting day. The truck came very late that night.  We were all very tired and, wouldn't you know it, it was probably one of the worst deliveries we've had.  Items were missing, fruit was squashed, and several other things happened that just made it a little chaotic.  I was SOOOO glad to fall into bed that night.

   I must admit, I stayed in bed a little later than usual the next morning.  When I did finally get up, as I was walking past my front living room window, it hit me.  Mini's order.  I forgot about Mini's order.  It sat out on the front lawn ALL night.  I decided to run out and bring it in - pajamas and all.  One glance out the window told me that there was nothing to bring in.  The lawn was bare, not a box to be seen.  The realization hit me,  I forgotten about Mini's order, left it outside, and it had most likely been stolen.  I felt so irresponsible.  I couldn't believe what I had done. Over one hundred dollars of goods was missing.  Would Mini still have to pay for it?  I had taken responsibility for it.  Would I have to pay for it?  Would the company eat the loses.  I dreaded telling Mini that I had messed up.  Maybe I should send out an e-mail to everyone in the co-op informing them that I will would be unable to hold anyone's order for them because I am to irresponsible of a person to be trusted. Then all my failings crept through my head one by one.  I sat down and confessed every sin and fault I could think of (maybe even some I had never committed).  At that moment I was extremely grateful that God loved sinners because I sure did feel like one.  I asked- make that "pleaded"- if He could somehow get me out of this mess.

   A good prayer can clear your mind and rays of hope started trickling in.  Maybe, just maybe, the driver had seen the boxes left out on the lawn and put them back in the truck.  Maybe somebody else accidentally took Mini's order home with them.  Had the strapping young men seen any boxes still sitting on the lawn when they left?  I started investigating.  I left a message on the driver's cell phone.  My neighbor, who had picked up an order, was working in his front yard.  I went over and had my first of what was to be many interrogations that day.

   Truthfully, I am getting tired of writing out all the details of this post.  I may be as tired of writing them as you are of reading them.  Let's get to the facts ASAP.
1. Driver had not taken the boxes but gave me a number to call a head honcho at the home office who could maybe help me out.
(I'm feeling like a doofus.)

2. Strapping young man #1 thought he had seen two, small boxes left on the lawn when he left.
(Maybe losing  two small boxes wasn't all that bad.  Wait, those small boxes cost over $100.  That's still bad.)

21/2. Called the friend whose order was next to Mini's.  Interrogated her thourgouly.  She saw nothing but felt very badly for me.
(Maybe people will still love me even though I'm a doofus.)

3.  Neighbor saw nothing when he came out front in the wee hours of the morning.
(Who would have been on our street after I went in late and the neighbor came out early?)

4. I decided to recheck my list.  Yes. Mini's name was on it.  That meant her order shipped.
(The order I had promised to take care of and didn't because I'm a doofus.)

5. Picked up the phone to call the head honcho.   What should I say?  "Hi, I lost a $100+ order.  Please don't make me pay for it."  Then she'll ask, "What was in the order?" Hmmm, maybe I better check that out before I actually call.

5. I decided to go online and see exactly what was in Mini's order. (As drop point manager, I can do that. Ohhh, the taste of power and nosiness.)  What??? 50 lbs of grain?  50 lbs of chicken feed?  I know that didn't come.  I would have seen it.

6. Called stapping young man #2 and asked if he actually saw any box with Mini's name on it when he was unloading.  He hadn't.   HE HADN'T?????  What????  Maybe I need to rethink this.....

7. I went back to Mini's order.  Something wasn't right.  Only part of her order could have been shipped.  Two 50 lb bags were missing, and at least one strapping young man hadn't unloaded any part of her order.  What could have been shipped in two small boxes?  I look at her order online. I look at her order very carefully.  This time I make sure to scroll ALL the way to the bottom of the order to catch every detail.  And then I see it.  PRESS SUBMIT TO COMPLETE YOUR ORDER.
(No way!  Was her order ever completed?  But she was on my list.)

8. Forget the head honcho -I just called customer service.  "Hello, may I help you?"    "Yes, you can keep me from having a heart attack."  I can feel the vibes coming through the phone.  Miss Customer Service thinks she is talking to a crazy lady.  I explained the situation briefly.  "Can you tell me if the order was ever completed and ever shipped?"  Her reply....... "The order was never completed and NEVER shipped."

    I had been chasing a phantom order.  A computer glitch put a name on my delivery list that should have never been there.  Did Mini decide not to order and neglect to tell me?  Does Mini realize she never completed her order?  One thing I know for sure!!!!!!  And I Facebooked this message to her. "Mini, you owe me.  You owe me BIG time.  You're taking me out to lunch, girl!"  But I never told Mini WHY she owed me.  She won't know until she reads this post. Where are you taking me to lunch, Mini?  I aged four years that morning and felt much guilt for something I never did.  It should be a very NICE lunch, don't you think? ;)